Loaves and Fishes

From guest blogger, Matthew Askey.
Matthew is based at the College of the Resurrection in Mirfield, Yorkshire, UK where he is training for Ordination as a Priest in the Church of England.
Two versions of the same subject - loaves and fishes, based on the Gospel miracle of the feeding of the 5,000.

Both of these images were painted on the same day, and with broadly the same intentions (as part of an on-going series of ‘Prayer Paintings’ intended for prayerful meditation, with light becoming a central concern), but interestingly they have turned out very differently in their final forms. I think I’ve learned an important lesson to do with both the mysteries of painting and with what is needed when a painting is made. The artist needs to be open to ‘listening’ to the emerging image as it begins to appear, and then to follow what it is telling the painter it needs in order to become itself. Painting is mysterious indeed, and all the more so if the artist lets the image realise itself rather than trying to hammer it down from the start.

The first version of the Loaves and Fishes (the redder image) is much more warm and slow, much quieter, peaceful even. We see fish as an offering, as food, placed with the bread, in harmony, ready to be given, received and eaten gladly. The second version on the other hand (painted immediately after the first) is moody and disturbing. The fish are somehow anthropomorphised (made human); we can sense a psychology in them. The fish balanced on top of the stack of loaves is precarious and wants to topple off onto the lower fish which is stuck under the loaves. The light is more dramatic and focussed too. This looks to me to be a painting out of balance in many ways, it calls for the viewer to resolve it.

The miracle of the Loaves and Fishes is one of my favourite Gospel stories, but it is one which caused me much incredulity and difficulty when I first considered it. In those days (and admittedly as an atheist, before I recognised what I now call God at work in my life) I found the story baffling. How can two fish and five loaves feed thousands of people? This must be some kind of spectacular magic trick or simply a made-up story with no meaning at all? But later on I realised how wrong I was…The story of the loaves and fishes is a great symbol (and even greater than a symbol really, like much of what Jesus did) and it is a symbol of what can be achieved with the little we have to offer if we offer it to God in faith and in all honesty. Others will see our generosity and hope (the 5,000) and respond in kind – providing enough for all of us, as what was held previously in private for ourselves is brought out and shared together, leaving more than enough for all – a true miracle!

Which brings me back to the paintings…Two versions of the Loaves and Fishes; which is closest to the heart of this miracle story? The one at peace and in harmony or the one struggling to survive, even under the generous light of God? Well, both are fine with me, but I’ll let you decide for yourself.

Comments

[Helen]

Thank you for your thoughts on this... you've caused me to think deeply as well. I will continue to think about this - it is a wonderful "today application" of this great gospel story (which I believe is absolutely true!)